The most destructive thing that you probably believe—and what to do about it.


I want to talk to you today about the worst thing that you can believe—that somewhere in your life, you do believe—and I’m going to talk about how you can overcome that in a pretty straightforward fashion.

First off, what is the most destructive belief you can have? We’ll get right to it: The most destructive belief you can have is the belief that what you do doesn’t matter.

If you have a belief somewhere in your life that what you do doesn’t matter, that’s it. It’s game over at that point. That’s gonna take the wind out of your sails. That’s gonna stop everything.

I run into this sometimes, just like other people. Right now I’m working on an online facilitation training course—a massive amount of work. And in the last couple days things have come up and I haven’t been able to get much done on it, and I start thinking to myself, “Well, it doesn’t really matter how much I do on this because it’s never going to be enough. It’s so much work that it’s running off infinitely into the future.”

And we all have places in our lives where we feel like that—that the thing we want to accomplish, we’re just simply not going to be able to accomplish. And so for me, because it’s so much work—getting this facilitation course done is so much to do—it’s “too much.” And I start to believe that no matter how much I do, no matter how early I get up, no matter how many hours I put in, it doesn’t matter. I’m never going to get it done.

And you’ve got a place in your life like this too, or maybe more than one place, where it’s like, “No matter how hard I try, I have learned from the harsh realities of life that it doesn’t matter and I’m just never going to get anywhere on this thing.”

That’s important. That’s critically important. I have godchildren who grew up in the ghetto in Chicago, and watching that I really saw the one thing the ghetto wants to teach them is what they do doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if you comply, it doesn’t matter if you punch a cop, it doesn’t matter what you do. You’re screwed no matter what happens.

And while that’s a really big example, we all have places we believe that what we do doesn't matter.

Think about it—what change do you want to make in your life, what thing do you want to create that’s important to you, that your heart truly longs for—that you have bought the idea that it doesn’t matter how hard you try? It doesn’t matter if you work on it or don’t work on it because it’s never going to happen.

For me, the hole that my heart fell into was, “I want to create this amazing online facilitation training, which a lot of people want, but because it’s an infinite amount of work that runs off in the future forever, and I work and I work and I work and it looks like nothing’s really changing, I start to believe that it doesn’t matter how hard I work, nothing’s ever going to happen.”

And you need to find the part in yourself that has bought that idea that no matter how hard you try, this thing that’s important to you won't happen, that what you do doesn’t matter.

Because as I said, that lets the air out of your tires. That takes the wind out of your sails. That ends everything.

So what do we do about it? Maybe you’ve found the place in your life where you feel like, “I’ve given up on having the relationship that I want,” or, “I’ve given up on having the body that I want,” or, “I’ve given up on having the career I want,” or wherever you’ve bought this idea that what you do doesn’t matter.

So you’ve identified that. What do you do about it? What we do about it is simple. Maybe not easy, but simple. We bring healing, in the same way we bring healing to everything. If you’ve been watching my videos you know what I’m about to say: We bring healing by finding that part of yourself that has bought the idea that what you do doesn’t matter, and we bring love to that part.

We bring compassion to that part. We bring mercy to that part. We pull back that curtain and let in the light of—maybe it’s your higher self, maybe it’s the way you would talk to a discouraged friend, maybe it’s your sense of the Divine.

Really asking that question, “How does Goodness and Love feel about me even when I’ve bought the idea that what I do doesn’t matter in this area that’s so critically important to me?”

Because what we find is when light and love and unconditional acceptance—the word for this is actually “blessing”—touches those areas in us that have given up, that’s when we start to have new hope. So I did this myself. “I feel discouraged. No matter what I do in this program I’m making, it’s never going to happen. It doesn’t matter what I do.”

And I really started bringing love to that part: “Wow, that is a hard way to live.” And I’m kind of looking at myself and saying, “I can see you’ve really bought that idea. Wow. And it’s amazing, because it destroys you, Dmitri, when you believe that you can’t bring into the world what you feel called to bring into the world. I mean, that’s like the most destructive—it’s almost compelling, it’s such a destructive, corrosive belief.”

So I brought love to that: “Wow, that’s a really difficult way to live. And I’m here with you. And you’re okay with me. And I love you even though you feel that way.”

And it started to loosen up, which is what happens when we do this. It started to loosen up and I started to realize, “You know, it isn’t all on me. Even though I’m doing this project, the more that I put stuff out into the world, the more it shakes things loose, and people talk to me, and opportunities happen, and synergies happen, and it gets an energy going in the world that’s unpredictable and positive.”

And I’m thinking to myself, “Yeah, wow, that’s true. That’s pretty cool.” I started to get this conviction of, “The energy I put in the world is really what makes a difference. Yes, it’s important to work on my project and create this course. But the energy I put in the world while doing it, that’s what really makes a difference. That’s what starts that flywheel of really good things happening.”

And I wasn’t thinking this before. And this isn’t something I’m just telling myself as a consolation prize—I’m getting that in my heart. “Wow, okay. I can start doing things again. And I can start right now.”

And so this is what I want you to have. I want you to find that place inside yourself where the thing that’s important to you, you’ve bought the idea that no matter what you do it doesn’t matter, and just love that part. And see what happens. See how it starts to soften. Don’t try to change it, don’t give it advice. Don’t beat up on it! Don’t try to buck it up. Just see. “Wow, I see you feel backed into this corner and you feel discouraged and broken. Love love love love love, exactly the way you are. Trying to fix you can wait for another day.”

And take the time that it needs. See what new inspiration starts to arise. Because if you give it the time it needs, a new inspiration will arise.

I want you to have a life where the things that you really care about, you get to have. That the things that you’re called upon to bring into this world, you bring into this world. So, hey, if you can relate to this at all, maybe just do a brief comment. Say, “Hi,” or, “I’m here,” or, “Hello.” And share this too, if you want to share this message. And let me know if you’re interested in this facilitation course I’m working on. That’ll also help charge me up. Anyway, whatever you want to do there, thanks very much for watching this. Thanks for sharing yourself in the comments. And this is Dmitri. I’ll talk to you soon.


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