Here's something to consider...
Not eating sugar is a struggle because you haven't really decided to not eat sugar.
Stick with me here, and I'll explain.
(And please note—I'm talking about giving up sugar here, but this applies to any behavior you want to change.)
Now, to be clear: You may have made the decision that you ought to not eat sugar.
But on a core level, that decision as to whether or not you will eat sugar is still up for discussion.
For example, imagine...
There you are in the work break room, looking at a box of donuts a coworker brought.
And because the decision to not eat one hasn't really been made, you find yourself re-examining wether or not you should eat one. You find yourself looking at a donut, and asking yourself, "Am I going to eat this donut or not?"
The decision to not eat that donut hasn't really been made.
So it's a struggle to decide.
And after enough of that exhausting struggle, you've worn out your willpower, and find yourself eating a donut after all.
Flipping the switch
What you need is that experience when an internal "switch" flips, and when the decision is made, once and for all.
What does it mean for a decision to be truly made?
If you talk with a lot of people who've given up smoking, you'll find that, for a certain percentage of them, at one point simply decided that they were done smoking—and they never smoked again.
There was a moment where they decided—through and through—that they were finished smoking. They'd had their last cigarette. It was done.
And because they made a complete, congruent decision, it changed everything.
As one former smoker said, "before I made that decision, my cravings would show up, I'd struggle with them for a while, and then I'd be lighting a cigarette before I knew it.
"But after that moment of decision, it was like a switch had flipped. I still felt the cravings, but they had no impact on me. I knew I was done smoking. And the cravings have gotten weaker as time has gone on. I still sometimes feel cravings to smoke, but it's not up for discussion. I'm not smoking."
I suggest to you that if you are going to make a change—like a decision to avoid sugar, or change some other behavior—you need to make a complete decision in which the internal switch flips.
Otherwise, you'll be caught in a world where you're "re-deciding" every time you have a craving, whether or not you will give in to it.
And as I said, you'll eventually get worn out, and the sugar will win again.
You actually know what I mean
You actually are familiar with that kind of "switch flipped" decision—just maybe not around you behavior with food.
Think about a time you moved to a new home, or took on a new job. After you've moved, you're don't re-examine your decision to move, every morning of your life.
After you've settled in at a new job, you don't struggle each morning to "re-decide" if you are going to work that day.
Most of the time, you made the decision...and once that decision was made, it was made.
But we keep getting entangled with sugar because we don't really decide that we are done with it. So we keep re-deciding—usually when we are at our weakest, and most needy.
So the sugar keeps winning.
It is possible to not eat sugar and be at peace
If you've really made the decision that you are done with sugar, it is possible to look at that box of donuts, notice any craving you might have for them, and to to then go about your day, happy and at peace—even without eating one.
But...you can't make yourself make that decision.
You can't make that decision by willpower alone.
You can't fake it till you make it.
And that's a real problem.
The truth is, I've spent most of my career trying to figure out how to help people get to the point of making that decision, fully, so it's not up for discussion anymore.
And I think I've found the way.
Over the next few posts, I'm going to talk about the unexpected solutions I've found to that problem—with an eye to helping you develop an "internal emotional alignment," so that you can take the best actions for you...and happily and easily take care of your body and have a vital, passionate life.